I was at work the other day and marvelling at the sparkly rings on a co-workers fingers. I asked her how she got them to look so great and got an appropriate answer. She cleaned them! I looked down at my own band and engagement ring and thought, “Good God!”. It has been over 5 years since I have cleaned my rings. No wonder they look so dull and lifeless!!
Well…if that isn’t a metaphor for relationships smacking me right in the face, then I don’t what is! Relationships take work….consistent, small efforts and attempts at maintenence to keep them functional and happy. If you let 5 years go by, you will look up and find a roomate. No sparkle. No zip. No little flutters in your chest just by looking at them.
If you have children, then you know exactly what I mean. You have likely lost all your couple time to spending great family moments together. Don’t get me wrong! Family time is amazing and essential but so is couple time. You two were the foundation. A strong family cannot stand on shaky ground!
American business philosopher Jim Rohn refers to this as ‘tending your garden’ in his book ‘Twelve Pillars’. If left to itself, the ‘garden’ will be run over by weeds. A relationship that gets a little attention every day will flourish.
SO what do we do to keep the fire alive (so to speak)? I have a few suggestions but I would LOVE to hear yours in the comments below! Let’s share our tips on keeping love long-lasting and fresh in our hectic lives.
- Touch each other often – This goes hand in hand with my attempts at living life authentically by working on connection and listening but goes one step further. It is really about moving connection to the physical level. Just by touching an arm, a hand, brushing against each other while you make P,B & J sandwiches (ah, the romance!) and you will be surprised at the energy it creates throughout the day.
- Make the time – Put down the remote, put down the broom and back away from the iPad. I know it is hard because we are all so tired out and want to veg out on autopilot, but you need to set a time for you both to be together. Get a sitter or keep the sacred post-bedtime hour to yourselves. An hour a day is a tiny commitment for the love of your life.
- Share your dreams, or just your ice cream –What are your big goals? Where do you want to be in 10 years. What flavor of Menchie’s fro-yo did you have today? What did you have for lunch? The point is…just talk to each other! Keep the conversation going…keep the connection. If you don’t look interested, you probably aren’t. Pop out for a ‘quickie’ to get dessert and hold hands while you ponder preschool options. You will never regret taking time for each other. ‘Discipline weighs ounces, regret weighs tons’ – Jim Rohn