Tag Archives: Parent

Brave. The resolution.

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In my Father's eyes...

In my Father’s eyes…

So where did we leave off? Oh right, I was pacing the room, making myself nauseous and about to meet my father for the first time in my life. What a moment! SO stressful that I will likely never forget that feeling.

There was another feeling I felt later that day that was equally as acute. An aching feeling of sadness as we drove away from my father, leaving him behind again in return to our children and our busy lives. This is it. The intensity. The power. The FEELING. This is what life is about. Yet, so often we shy away from moments like this that will reward us with a feeling so powerful that we cannot help but know we are alive!

SO how was our 7-hour day together? Indescribable. I can tell you that we embraced upon meeting. I can tell you that we talked for hours over coffee while I showed him pictures of me growing up and he showed me pictures of my entire paternal ancestral line going 4 generations back. I can tell you we drove to one of his favorite places to take nature photographs and then did a spontaneous photo shoot with me as the subject. I can tell you that there were so many moments when we just held hands or gazed at each other. I can tell you that I literally felt through his entire being the love he had for my mother.

But none of that will be enough to convey the moments so powerful, like little earthquakes shifting in my consciousness. Moments in which I heard that I was loved, wanted, longed for. Little fissures in my beliefs, followed by new connections that were stronger, less imagined and forged with love. I could never have imagined it better.

I am so excited about this new connection and all its’ potential. I feel the power of it like a surge of energy that can ignite every action in my days whether routine or adventurous. This has been a journey a long time in the making. Perhaps that time was necessary, bringing us to the right moment. I have named this the year to face my fears and this was fear #1. Now that I have conquered the biggest… I can line them all up and knock the rest out of the park. Bring it. I am ready.

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A Mother’s work is never done… Scheduling for greatness #1

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new vintage mopping

I was washing the floor this morning and trying to wrap my head around our schedule for the day. I can really think when I wash the floor. Maybe it’s because of the repetitive ‘push-pull’ of the mop. Maybe it’s because my children have to be preoccupied so I can keep them off the floor. Either way, I can really think things through and follow my train of thought when I am in full house-frau mode!

Anyways, speaking of train of thought… I was pondering a remark a friend of mine had made about how she cannot understand how I fit everything into my schedule. Part-time shifts at the hospital, son back and forth to preschool, daughter down for naps, working my Arbonne business, dinners out with my husband, keeping a Facebook page and now a blog up to date and even popping out for a social night of West Coast Swing dancing once a month. This made me really think about how we can fit so many things into a day and not go crazy with stress. So, maybe I can share a few things that work for me.

1. Involve your children – These little people love to be a part of the family dynamic. They want to be considered an integral part of the family. Make them feel like you could not function without them! Make sure that you run some plans by them, even a day or two before it happens. My son in particular really needs to be given advanced notice of things and I always regret it if I throw something at him he does not expect! FREAKOUT session! Nothing like a screaming 4 year old to create stress. The conversation usually goes something like this…”This week, we have a few things that we need to do and I need your help…” Then I give him a list, reinforcing the days of the week as we go through (teachable moment!) and often end up writing him out a little schedule if some activities are related to him directly. He loves it! He even posts it up in his room and crosses the days off himself!

2. Involve your spouse – OK dear, time to pitch in! It was so unbelievable clear to me how difficult it would be if I was a stay-at-home Mom when I returned to work after both my maternity leaves. A full 12 hour shift where I did not have to be responsible for anyone but myself…HEAVEN! So, by staying home all day with my children, my husband understood how challenging the day was and now he is always ready to offer me time away whenever I request it. Errand time, gym time, shopping time, you name it. He appreciates my hard work and likely his own opportunity to be with the children and then escape to his job again the next day!

3. Take time for you!!! – This one is huge. I struggled with this and still do, but now realize the importance of this simple concept. After a full 12 hrs with my kids I felt too exhausted to even think about cleaning up and heading out. I also really wanted to spend a little time with my children and husband all together, as a family. But, I end up drained from doing the same thing ALL day with no time for me. Choose 2 or 3 days each week where you get a full hour or two away and to do whatever you need to do: exercise, shop, go for coffee with a friend. You choose! It will likely work very well if this is exercise! You WILL have energy if you just get your body moving! Get out in the fresh air with no little people to herd. You will have SO much more patience and energy for everyone else if you allow yourself to recharge.

More tips to come in the future….and don’t think I have all these things perfected.

I too, am a work in progress!! It takes persistence and perseverance to build habits for great success!