Tag Archives: vision

Top Ten Ways to Waste Time and Never Create Positive Change

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Tick tock. Are you getting younger? Make your days count! Photo credit: timemanagementninja.com

Tick tock. Are you getting younger? Make your days count!
Photo credit: timemanagementninja.com

Here’s a Top Ten List with a twist. How to recognize everyday actions that are wasting your time or serving against your hopes of achieving your goals.

#1 – Keeping a little too ‘busy’. Have you noticed that when you ask how people are these days, more often than not you will hear ‘Busy’. I too, am guilty of this one. This is really not an acceptable answer. If someone asks how you are and you deflect by telling them the state of your current social and professional calenders, we have a problem. Try looking them in the eyes and giving an honest answer for a change. Try telling them the truth. Maybe you will create a real human connection for a change. Running around town with a crazy schedule,booking your children in class after class teaches your little ones nothing about life except how fast Mom can drive and what words are acceptable curse words. Slow down. Have a picnic. Talk to your children. Play with them and model true engagement and socialization.

#2 – Over-organizing. Put the double-sided tape away Martha. Back away from the laminator. Have you ever explored exactly why you need to perfect things like you do? What awful things will happen if you don’t align those pamphlets…again. I too love every thing in its’ place, but sort it out and get on with it!

#3 – The rules of zero engagement.  Are you guilty of general busyness without any attempts to create connections in the form of meeting new people? How many times have you had your children in classes and by the end of 6 or 8 weeks you still have not even spoken to any of the other parents? Same goes for adult classes. Example: that yoga class where everyone sits in their own little zen bubble and pretends that they are oblivious to each other. Not to harp on Yoga classes, but Namaste means ‘Salutations to you.’ or “Not for me…but for thee.” as a statement of service to others. Get connected. Engage. Start by using a casual statement about the class, weather, class size, whatever! Just put down your cell phone and drop your barriers.

#4 – Keep doing what your doing, even though you hate it. There is a great quote by Albert Einstein that states “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” If you don’t like where you are, who you are or what you are currently doing daily, change it. Change your direction right now. Make the choice and follow through.

#5 – Never write down your goals. Do you even know what you want? Have you established where you want to be in 3 – 5 years? If you do not have a clear intention, it is no wonder you feel lost. Nothing like trying to win a race that has no finish line! Make your short term (daily, weekly, monthly) goals and set your intention and vision for your future. Write down what you will achieve. Make yourself a vision board and clearly display what is important to you. Family. Time. Security. Debt repayment. Travel. This is as individual as you are. Make it yours.

#6 – No vision, big problem. If you do not bother to set a clear vision for what you want or where you want to be in a few years, you cannot begin to reveal the path to get you there. Example: I was struggling with my career choices the other night when my husband reminded me of the creative process. What do I want to create? Where am I now? What steps do I need to take in order to get ‘there’. Big decisions become easier when you set your vision.

#7 – Go it alone. By not engaging the power of two or even many,  you are making the journey harder. Use your spouse, best friend, mother, whomever you connect to the best. I have been sharing exciting things that I have learned in success coaching and using the creative process with my husband lately. It is really helpful for me when he recognizes opportunities to use what I’ve learned when I cannot. We are learning about change, both personal and professional, together and by doing so, are reinforcing new behaviours and habits as we go.

#8 – Keep your old habits. If you have made great effort to learn, grow, understand and change but then do not practise what you have learned, you are wasting your time. New habits need to be created and that takes a change in practice. Daily practice. To begin a new, creative, positive behaviour, you must cease other established behaviours. This takes focus and continued effort.

#9 – Consort with people that do not share your values. You read every night and have no idea what PVR stands for. Your friends recount episodes of the Bachelorette like their lives will be altered if their favorite guy is chosen. Maybe you get along famously despite this? However, some people may not want to watch you grow and become who you really are. They may feel threatened by your goals since your current life is no longer ‘good enough’ meaning that what they are doing is not good enough either. You have a couple of options here. You can either explain what you are trying to achieve and hope they don’t look at you like you grew a third eye or you can change your network of friends. Follow your instincts.

#10 – Fly ‘by the seat of your pants’. If you need to get something done, set aside the time. In writing. Do not assume that you will sneak your work into the day somewhere. If you need to read, set aside time in the morning before everyone else is up. Schedule it in, set your intentions and create the time.

So, if you like where you are (on the couch, being a victim with nothing positive to say about your life), then by all means, keep doing these ten things. If you are ready to achieve your full potential, make the choice and never look back!

CB

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Modern Poets

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Today I had a patient quote me some poetry. It was beautiful, had a rhythmic flow and he had it memorized perfectly. It is quite sad that this is not such a common occurrence anymore. Yet we overhear poets everyday, just in a different context. Musicians can inspire with powerful lyrics. Today’s post is about song lyrics that stimulated my thoughts and emotions perfectly this week. 


“The Age Of Worry” – John Mayer

Close your eyes and clone yourself
Build your heart an army
To defend your innocence
While you do everything wrong
 
Don’t be scared to walk alone
Don’t be scared to like it
There’s no time that you must be home
So sleep where darkness falls
 
Alive in the age of worry
Smile in the age of worry
Go wild in the age of worry
And say, “Worry, why should I care?”Know your fight is not with them
Yours is with your time here
Dream your dreams but don’t pretend
Make friends with what you are

Give your heart then change your mind
You’re allowed to do it
‘Cause God knows it’s been done to you
And somehow you got through it

Alive in the age of worry
Rage in the age of worry
Sing out in the age of worry
And say, “Worry, why should I care?”

Rage in the age of worry
Act your age in the age of worry
And say, “Worry, get out of here!”

 
I am in a wonderful, positive time in my life. I am excited and building my heart ‘an army’ to allow me to persist every day in fighting for my dreams and not back down an inch. I can make mistakes and frankly, I prefer to. I am learning more about myself now than I ever have in all my 35 years. I can walk a different path. My journey is my own. 

The Entrepreneurial Spirit: Out on a limb.

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PENTAX Image

The spirit of an entrepreneur. Is it possible that it exists intrinsically everyone? The brutal truth is ‘no’, it is not in all of us, but in some it lies dormant like a sleeping dragon.

Many of us grow up hearing the same phrases, repeatedly echoing from the mouths of elders. “Go to school. Work hard. Get a good job.” That is success. This is the dream. This is as far as they want or expect you to reach. In truth, now that I am a Mother myself, I can empathize! Perhaps they are  just trying to keep us safe. They want us off the street. They want us to be able to feed ourselves, pay our mortgages and put clothes on our back. Our parents want to know that if they were not around, that we will be ok. It is understandable. Many a respectable life is led this way.

There are a rare few mentors though, that have the sense to inspire a little more. Or perhaps, the entrepreneurial spirit is burning stronger in others by nature. The need to work outside of the basic rules and framework established by school, job, school and then (hurray!) career. Energy and inspiration seems to burn aflame in these fantastic folk. They persist and keep reaching every day for what they want, ‘rules’ be damned! They fail. A lot. But they just keep on going! ‘No’ does not resound harshly and deflating to these ambitious types. It just means not yet, keep going.

Of course, the spirit may move us conventional types later on in our lives too. In my case in particular, the shift was unintentional, unexpected and subtle. I keep reading a quote that inspires me. “Don’t be afraid to go out on a limb. That’s where all the fruit is.” It now has a permanent place on my vision board. A vision board is a fantastic tool for those of us in transition. We are just babies when it comes to following dreams. Vision boards are our baby walkers…helping us to form the permanent ability to walk and then run on our own. Dreaming and pursing those dreams becomes a daily habit, not a random act when you get frustrated with your job.

Psychologically speaking, not every human is capable of thinking this way. For some people, their hardwiring is too permanent. They are not only unwilling to change, they cannot comprehend the need or desire to strive for anything other than security. A steady income is a safe harbour. These folks need offices, desks, deadlines, rules, policies, co-workers to complain to and a boss to lead them. They can be harsh and cruel to the entrepreneurs when someone breaks free of the structure. “You will fail!” “Are you crazy?” “Why would you risk all this?” (insert arm-wave gesture sweeping from worn grey carpeting up to buzzing fluorescent lights).

I can tell you now why branching out on a limb is all worth it. Self-discovery. You will learn more about yourself in a month than you can learn in a decade of working at a JOB (just over broke!). Where are your strengths? Where are your weaknesses? What are your fears? How strong is your vision and your belief? Can you make the changes necessary to achieve your goals? The freedom to dream about possibilities will keep you energized beyond any dose of self-inflicted ‘caffeination’ in your old routine.

So let them bray… it’s ok. To walk a separate line takes great courage and the insights you will gain are tremendous.  So climb up that trunk and stare at the branches. Choose one that looks good to you. One that speaks to you. Take a deep breath and start climbing.

CB

Brave. The resolution.

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In my Father's eyes...

In my Father’s eyes…

So where did we leave off? Oh right, I was pacing the room, making myself nauseous and about to meet my father for the first time in my life. What a moment! SO stressful that I will likely never forget that feeling.

There was another feeling I felt later that day that was equally as acute. An aching feeling of sadness as we drove away from my father, leaving him behind again in return to our children and our busy lives. This is it. The intensity. The power. The FEELING. This is what life is about. Yet, so often we shy away from moments like this that will reward us with a feeling so powerful that we cannot help but know we are alive!

SO how was our 7-hour day together? Indescribable. I can tell you that we embraced upon meeting. I can tell you that we talked for hours over coffee while I showed him pictures of me growing up and he showed me pictures of my entire paternal ancestral line going 4 generations back. I can tell you we drove to one of his favorite places to take nature photographs and then did a spontaneous photo shoot with me as the subject. I can tell you that there were so many moments when we just held hands or gazed at each other. I can tell you that I literally felt through his entire being the love he had for my mother.

But none of that will be enough to convey the moments so powerful, like little earthquakes shifting in my consciousness. Moments in which I heard that I was loved, wanted, longed for. Little fissures in my beliefs, followed by new connections that were stronger, less imagined and forged with love. I could never have imagined it better.

I am so excited about this new connection and all its’ potential. I feel the power of it like a surge of energy that can ignite every action in my days whether routine or adventurous. This has been a journey a long time in the making. Perhaps that time was necessary, bringing us to the right moment. I have named this the year to face my fears and this was fear #1. Now that I have conquered the biggest… I can line them all up and knock the rest out of the park. Bring it. I am ready.

Day (448) – The Path of the Pawn

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Fantastic post! The easiest path is that of the victim. Give in, let life take over and roll with the surf, letting the waves beat you until you change form, reduced and diminished. But, when you connect with your soul in such a way that you are excited about its’ potential…you start to fight through the surf. You push back. You become lighter somehow when you start to love yourself and others with unfailing hope. You can then rise above the water to surf on the waves instead.

The Better Man Project ™

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Isn’t that the truth. Let me tell you a short story.

Up until my sophomore year of college, I was a pawn. Put me on the board of life and tell me what to do – I would do it. I was guided by routine – go to school, go to practice, go home and eat and do it all over again. The routine lasted for years and of course there were some very positive things that came out of this path. However, eventually the foundation was cracked and a decision had to be made. Who will you be from this moment on?

Each piece of the board has its own benefits – but in looking back I know that I didn’t automatically tell myself that I was going to be a king…no…I had to graduate first to a knight. And off we went, moving two steps forward and one…

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